Ask yourself, “Why get married?” It’s a crazy question. On the surface, there are standard default answers everyone gives: for love, seems like the right thing to do, it’s expected, and so on. What is your answer? The folks at Freakonomics.com have some ideas. We’ll get to their podcast in a second. Before we go any further, they couldn’t resist and neither could I.
Just a quick teaser for the podcasts — embedded at the foot of this post — to whet your appetite for the podcast, they mention that they believe the reason married people are happier is due to the fact that happy people are more likely to marry. There’s even more perspectives that punch you in the gut. Give a listen… but only after you read my rantings.
I’m divorced so my views on marriage may be marred (pun?) by that baggage. Yet I would like to get married again. That said, I prefer to do it on my own terms. Here are some terms which I would negotiate for:
- Keep the state/government out of it
- Keep any religious denomination out of it
- Make a written contract on what we expect to give and what we expect to get
- Do away with wedding presents and, instead, give invitees the option to obtain tickets to the wedding and/or reception with a suggested donation; invitation only
The last one, economically speaking, is the most dynamic and fun. The wedding attendees are instructed to not bring a gift but to make a donation. Oh, and it’s a BYOB potluck. The donations go toward the expenses of putting on the wedding. If you have 100 guests at an average of $25.00 each, you’re looking at $2,500.00. That’s not an extravagant wedding but it’s one hell of a party.
I am aware that my views may not jive with all the ladies out there. But I don’t need all the ladies, just the right lady (singular). Or ladies (plural) if they’re up for the sister-wives thing. I’m game.
Regardless of the rantings of a divorced cartoonist, the people over at Freakonomics.com have delved into this subject. I’ll have you know that I’m not the only one who feels that the state and church need not be a part of it all. Their show is broken up into two parts, each around 20 minutes. I recommend downloading from iTunes and listening to them whilst walking/running/driving etc.
Or just listen to them here:
“Why Marry? Part 1″
“Why Marry? Part 2″
Looking to get hitched even after listening? Happy hunting!
I’m getting personal here. Can I drop the front of being well-adjusted and all that? For God’s sake, let me just be honest.
I’m dealing with some crap with my girl. And this girl is the fourth serious one after my divorce. Too much detail? Don’t read on. It gets worse from here on out. Go watch Mad Men on Netflix or something. For the rest of you, read on. You might be able to help me.
So my girl and I are split as of this point. I don’t know what to make of it. I don’t know what to make of anything these days. Here’s a bit of transparency: I’m alright at getting the girl but I suck at keeping the girl. Mostly because I’m emotionally needy and hyper-sensitive about some stuff and callous about other stuff. And the equations are all upside down. It pisses the girl off which pisses me off.
This is going to sound horrible, but I listened to a WTF with Marc Maron the other day; he was interviewing Artie Lang. Lang tells a story (he tells the best stories by the way) about Quincy Jones. Jones tells Lang that he (Jones) told Frank Sinatra that his (Sinatra’s) woman is too old — that a guy should dump a girl when she turns 31 (from what I recall). Hey, that’s Quincy Jones, not me. I have had more trouble with older (thirtyish) girls than younger girls. I’m 39. In my mind I think it’s “healthy” to date a girl eight years or less younger than myself. Yet that always goes to hell.
Found this amazing pic of Quincy Jones on achievement.org. Not sure where they got if from but I’m linking it from there.
At the same time, the younger chicks are fun but aimless and unseasoned. They’re fun to look at… Chive on. Yet, while those twenty-something girls are easier to handle (most just want to have fun), conversations are shallow. The upside is that the engagement is usually superficial so moving on from one to another doesn’t do the heart any damage. I can be superficial too. I love good looking chicks.
From thechive.com. Yeah, there’s more where that came from.
So let me put this out there to you all: What advice do you have for a guy like me to find love? Mind you, I can usually get the girl. It’s the healthy relationship part that eludes me. And just so you know, an answer like “Find an attractive Amish girl who is interested in webcomics and wine” is what I’m looking for. Aren’t we all looking for that?
So share some wisdom, will ya?
This podcast blew my mind. And I didn’t see it coming. Ed Begley Jr.? Really? Yes, really.
Click to go to the interview with Ed Begley Jr.
On the surface Begley seems like an actor who was in this and that. When Maron starts to dig, Begley just lets loose with all sorts of stories about his experiences. Crazy stuff, man.
Click to go to edbegley.com
After Begley fought his demons, he struck a healthy balance. He seems to meld his work life with his life in general. There doesn’t seem to be a clear distinction between both. And he’s enthusiastic and happy about it all.
The takeaway is that we all can have that bliss. It doesn’t have to be foreign. In fact, Begley talks about baby steps toward the end of the interview. Granted he was talking more about environmental stuff than career stuff but it still holds.
Give it a listen. With a name like “WTF”, there will be some salty language. Just a warning. But the undercurrent is strong. Gave me a lot to chew on.