M & M’s, Barnes and Noble, and the New York City Public Library. What do these three stories have in common? Read on.

Story 1

There’s this mega M&M’s store that I’ve been wanting to go into every time I walk by it. I love peanut M&M’s and I thought this would be a nice consummation of that fondness. So into M&M’s World I went.

This place was crazy! I thought they would have a counter with a few workers asking what types of M&M’s might I like to purchase. They would place them in a nice gift bag and send me on my way. This was not the case. This place had everything imaginable with an M&M’s theme. There were toys, puzzles, key chains, you name it. And that was the first floor. The second floor had more stuff. Strangely, I had yet to see any actual M&M’s. Further exploration led to the stairs to the third floor. This floor housed silos of M&M’s – yes SILOS of M&M’s, all different varieties and all overpriced.

As I was creating my bundle of various M&M’s, I failed to find any regular peanut M&M’s. Oh, the irony! I love peanut M&M’s and here, in M&M’s World there was none to be found. I was so sad that I drowned my sorrows in M&M’s plain, dark chocolate, summer colored, pretzel…

Story 2

I was invited to meet up with a group at Barnes and Noble on Broadway and 66th. I figured I’d get in there and see them in a corner and just go join. I did not figure on this Barnes and Noble being multiple levels.

Going to Barnes and Noble is one of my favorite things to do. I am not, however, fond of trying to find someone amid the many rows of books and what not. After wandering around the different floors, I found the group in the cafe on, you guessed it, the third floor*. (There is also a basement floor, just f.y.i.)

Here’s the thing: the people who designed the cafe positioned the tables along the area overhead the escalators and lower levels. A man was sitting at one such table and, in an attempt to grab his bottled beverage, accidentally pushed it off the table, through the grating, and down onto who knows what below. It was one of those slow-motion moments as the guy animatedly place his hands to his head in shock. It seemed like minutes before the sound of the bottle sounded against something below. Then, in a cartoon-like manner, the bottle continued to bounce around things downstairs (you could almost hear that cat-screech sound effect).

The poor guy felt so bad that he gathered his things and bolted. No one was hurt, just an accident. His anxiety was palpable though. I’ve been in these situations before and it can really make one feel down on one’s self. Yet, I’m getting to that place in my life where, if it were me, I might lament the inflated $3.95 price tag that went over the edge rather than the embarrassment. Unless it struck a person, that is.

© Copyright 2010 Roy Tennant, FreeLargePhotos.com

Story 3

I have been trying to visit the New York Public Library for some time now. Every time I have gone it was closed. I finally got my chance yesterday.

I expected to walk into the best library in the world. I envisioned millions of books with people everywhere happily reading. Strangely, I even kinda anticipated seeing LeVar Burton doing some sort of Reading Rainbow deal in the kid’s corner. I also expected to swim around in the books like Scrooge McDuck does in his money. Yes, I love libraries.

This particular library was no such place. The whole thing was built out of marble and, while beautiful, had no book shelves built into them. I actually saw no books whatsoever. So I decided to explore.

I walked about this stony labyrinth of staircases and rotundas with no books in sight. After a while I began to think this was some sort of very extravagant Candid Camera joke – a library without any books. After searching for books longer than one should in such a place as a library, I asked for help. A nice woman told me that the books are on (take a guess) the third floor.

Perhaps I don’t know what a library is supposed to be like but this library did absolutely nothing for me. I didn’t look at one book. I just left. I’m not saying the place isn’t nice. I’m just saying it’s not for me.

A long way to go but we’re almost there.

Supermarkets place milk in the very back of the store because most people go to the store to get milk. If they have to walk by the cereal to get to the milk, they may purchase some cereal. It seems as though these three places have the same thought process. In each case, I had to move through the entire building to get to the goods on the top floor. Does it work? Yup.

So here’s a tip: place anything that people want the furthest away from them and put a bunch of stuff in between to force them to make it through to get that nugget at the end.

Oh, and here’s the answer to the question: all three stories involved three stories. As if you couldn’t hear that coming up the stairs.

* Just went back to that Barnes and Noble and the cafe is on the FOURTH floor. But I had to pass the third floor to get there so it still fits.

Share/Save

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 26th, 2010 at 4:40 am and is filed under An Idiot's Journey, Blog.... You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.